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The sweet song   
10:06pm 31/07/2004
  of a bitter memory calls me away. Business, darlings. I'll be away, at least weekdays, for the next month of so. Weekends, I may make it home but no promises. Depends on the needs of certain people I suppose.

It pains me to leave so soon after returning. Daphne, Terry, we must meet up for that drink some time. And Pansy, we still need to catch up. Send me an owl.
12:05am 26/07/2004
  "Please don't believe me when I say I'm ok
Look a little deeper for the words that I can't say
I'm too small to stand alone, I sure could use a friend
Help me learn to trust someone again
Don't leave me
Please don't believe me"
10:11pm 25/07/2004
  I needed this little bit of time away again. It suddenly all got too much, seeing the old faces again. I rather dislike being the ghost I seem to have become...

But Terry's right, and Pansy, I need to make the effort to try and fit in again. As much as it hurts to admitt that I was in wrong, I know what I have to do. Perhaps I'll see if anyone wants to go out some tiem. For a few drinks or something, I don't know.

I just need more company that my own right now.

"Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so..."
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And in the shadows I shall hide.   
07:31pm 17/07/2004
  Nothing much once again....Yet endless whining to my father still won't get me out of here.

Spoke to Terry the other day. I'd sorta seen him around before- but I don't think we ever said two words to each other.Guess that in itself shows how much I've changed. Shocked me...how deep I managed to be. Kinda lost myself. Doesn't bear thinking about, how well he'll think he knows me now.

It was good to have someone to talk to. Someone who didn't pry too much, and was there just as a shoulder to lean on. Nothing more, nothing less. I can't deny that it's good to know there's someone there for me. I've not enjoyed being so alone these last few years.

I can't say it's been easy coming back. So few people want to know; but I can see that I have to make some effort too.

Not all change is for the worse...
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Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies.   
08:01pm 11/07/2004
  Why did I come back? It's madness. No one wants to know me anymore. Why should I change for them' I won't make the effort if they won't. Don't need them all anyway. I can get by on my own... I will get by on my own.

'Cause these are the days worth livin'
These are the years we're given
And these are the moments
These are the times
Let's make the best out of our lives

I don't it can't all be insanely happy, and like high school in those stupid muggle movies... But this is nothing that would ever happen in my worst nightmares. What did I do to push people away?
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